Happy New Year!

This post is a wee bit early, but anyway... Happy New Year!

This has been one of the most eventful and unforgettable years in my life. I fell in love. I found out what i care about... and i had faced few of my darkest moments. I faced questions about my future, and found courage to see those through.

I found the strength to fight my silences.

I also lost love, fought sanity and fought reason. Only to find Sanity and Reason... my thoughts have cleared and i have finally come out through the other side, mildly bruised but much wiser.

It has been a magical year, a complete fairy tale... with its dragons and witches, Hero's and princesses. It has been a journey i'm thankful to have had. Forgive the randomness of this post, this is happening extempore.

I am thankful for the new friends i have found and mournful of those i've lost, i feel it has made me... Me for all those who were a part of my life this year, Thank you... for you have been a part of what i've finally defined myself as.

I used to be a lost romantic without direction or coherent being, now i know who i am and know what exactly i'm doing... and what i seek, you have been a part of it... and i say it again thank you.

There is no use looking back, for The Past has happened and the Future awaits us.

This happens every second, and every moment of our existence... but for this once... let us celebrate a year which has added to our lives and brought to us that greatest treasure of all...

Wisdom.

Thank you 2008. Farewell, you are a friend who's memory will not fade.

And 2009! You have a lot to live up to my dear friend!

Happy New Year all, i hope this year is as magical as it can ever get. Reach for the Stars.

Love,

TP

The Oldest Drug

First you're just curious about it, you've heard people saying some nasty things about it... and those who've tried it have given you mixed reviews. Few of them tell you to NEVER try it but they stick to it all the time.

Then you decide, maybe you want to try it too, see what it feels like. You hang around... and try it. It overwhelms you, its something you've NEVER felt before and has suddenly opened up so many doors, the world is a brighter place. And you're (on a) high, while the feeling lasts nothing seems impossible. Pink Floyd starts making sense and so do the lyrics in death metal. you start singing along to gay songs like truly madly deeply.

And then, you start wanting more.

Hmm, now that i look back at what i've written i guess any intoxicant, booze or ciggarrette might have fit the same pattern.

What i'm actually talking about is Love.

The Oldest drug known to man. Love.

That thing just fucks you up. Love even though not classified as harmful, or as an prescription only consumable. Definetly follows the pattern, typical of any other intoxicant.

Lets continue our story.

You Start wanting more, and more... and then suddenly you stop getting any. It drives you crazy, you become hormonal.. become exposed to spontaneous bouts of anger followed by crying. you start avoiding your friends... and piss off those you do care about. You start either eating nothing or too much... suddenly you've either lost or gained 5-6 kgs.

You start asking why, and then when you realise you arent going to get any... and when the source lets you know, there isn't going be anymore and that its over. You rebound onto anything else, as long as it keeps you high, you'll take anything alchohol, a joint, a blue pilll, a green pill... anything. or In this case, since love involves people instead of consumables... you'll start wanting to be with any random stranger who smiles at you.

finally, years after its over... after you've rid yourself of it, and weaned yourself of it.

All it takes is a slight chance encounter. And just like alchoholics, all you'll need is a little push.

And you'll be thrown back into Madness.

Written from the heart.

P.S This Being in Love thing Blows.

Open Letter to The Pro Chancellor

Dear Sir,
I'm a Student of VIT, and am in my fourth year. I decided to Stay back during my Winter Vacation primarily to work on my B.Tech Thesis. However, it seems the University has a higher priority, becoming a movie set for example. I have no objection to or care for the shooting in progress on our campus... what i do care about is how this is coming in the way of what i stayed back during a time of my vacation to do.

I have no access to the Labs, i have been denied access to the campus premises. The hours i intended to spend learning, are now spent whiling away i can't even access the library. The Canteen is off limits, and the campus gate facing the hostel has been put under a lock. therefore if i want to go to the library, i will have to walk 2kms around the campus and enter it from main gate after being harrassed by security guards. and Having to explain what I'M doing in campus, i'm a STUDENT and it is my RIGHT to be in the campus.

Why has this "shooting" given you the moral right to close off all the gates? and not allow any students in? Why does it happen Repeatedly that you alienate students AND faculty by doing things like this? All the above, are as applicable to faculty as to students, in that manner we're being treated equal. Equally bad that is.

I don't know about being Student Friendly, but this college is DEFINITELY Shooting Friendly. The university will proabably declare a holiday when the next moviestar comes to shoot here. It is this behavioural aspect, that clearly shows the priorities of the college and the way they treat "their own" (in case there is a misunderstanding, i mean the faculty and the students).

I really expect no action, or corrective measures. But i would feel ashamed that i had to endure such ridiculous behavior, and i didnt speak up.

Yours Sincerely,

Tejapratap .B
IV year ECE.

My Picasso Moments

I've talked about them before, but only with Aditi. They are the special section of my book of memories.

How do you remember your past? As knowledge? a few words and facts? as a series of events... or a set of smells? Have you paid attention to how you keep you memories?when something triggers your memory... that memory comes rushing back...ever cared how?

My memories are flashes of images, heavily distorted, a few colours dimmed and a few exaggerated in their brightness, over done. The Red too Red and the non descript sky like sterlised cotton... white, thready and never ending.

The Clarity of a few of these images fades with time, a few borders going fuzzy, the photograph getting a tinge of the sepia tone. A few lose all meaning and are relegated to the archives, and like all archives will probably be forgotten about, until something happens that will push you to extract the musty old memories... stale as sand.

A Few will remain on the fringes of your consciousness, the smell of home you left behind, the whiff of familiar perfume... the predictable pot holes in your street. People's faces as you'll always remember then, the Uncle with the funny moustache, the man who had looked immensely proud when he bought his first car, the mohalla kids who you played cricket with. These are your everyday memories, significantly redone to fit your perspective and since then unchanged. 

This makes up most of my memory book, these and the innumerable afternoons i spent chatting away with my friends when i should have been studying. :) 

However, these aren't the memories which make me feel privileged and special to have witnessed them. These were just the ordinary ones which give substance of which i'm made of, but not what defines me per se, what makes me... Me. The ones that do, those are My Picasso Moments.

These images will forever be burned into my consciousness, and each time they surface, they bring an extraordinary amount of... feeling? i guess is the word... with them, each detail, bright and clear as it ever was, each smell, the mood... Everything... it just RUSHES in. These will be the ones that'll define me, the ones that i'll always cherish and each time, be honored and happy that i had a chance to have them.

And if i could relive them, i'd give the world.

And then he looked back.

 My last few posts have been... how do i put it? very Objective? All of them intent on dealing with a particular subject, an event or an incident. It has become reflective of what i'm becoming. :) Since we started the paper, my perspective towards everything has become ' does that have "story" value'  i look at everything like a journalist. Not like an author, i've thrown away all my charming little idioms, and phrases, which attached some character to my writing.

My writing now looks like a  'Story' as journalists refer to it as. Crisp, immediate consumption... like a pack of potato chips. That however is so...NOT the way i want to be writing.

i'll think its time i take a good hard look at the way i write.

The Dating Question

There is something about the concept of dating that fascinates me.

And i can never get enough of the social analysis, the fine intricate weaving... the silly things people do to keep it that way. The approaches people try, the outcomes and the game.

It is a Game, but not in this country.

Dating in the western world is a way different affair from the one here. See, in the western world, dating is a kind of acceptable social behaviour where the intention is to have fun, and if luck permits find THE guy or for that matter, THE girl for you.

But, Oh no... like Russell Peters will put it... No nono no no... it ain't that simple here. (Obviously i'm not referring to the affluent Bourgeois, they tend to rather be off the charts when it comes to societal behavior and cause more headaches in the overall analysis ... are a major pain in the actual statistics)

The Dating world in Urban India my dear Friends is Way, Way complicated and much More fun.

And what is my research? Spending a good part of two days on a dating Website, a facebook app call SpeedDate. Which pretty much surprised my friend(s). So in case you did get, umm... status updates refering to my activity on SpeedDate, ignore... this was what it was for. I didn't want to spoil the surprise.

Now, What is the Objective of Dating on the Indian Web? Girls are NOT looking for dates. Nope. Misconception there, what they are looking for are "Hunks" who they think will approach them, and get this..."They are of the 'same' type"...now exactly do i mean by type? i hope he is a "of the same religion" or if he is from around here... the typical stuff.

People set great store by your profile Picture, its what matters the most... So you've GOT to make sure it looks insanely nice. Of if you are like me... e.g. i'm to photogenic like the ice berg was to the Titanic. You better use insane amounts of photoshopping or use some crazy abstract art picture.

That for some reason, gives an aura that you're "Upwardly Mobile" DONT ask me! i have no freaking clue why thats so. And people pleasee yaar, dont put your goggles on and sit for photographs, makes you like jokers. This however is view i'm sure is shared by a lot of people... there might be a vast majority who actually do think its cool. Ambiguity here.

The second most important characteristic is your approach... how good is your english? if your english is good enough... we have a winner! This however is the case everywhere. i mean come on... you look good and you speak well. that IS the winning combination.

Anyway, Dating here... the online type atleast is a joke. I was actually surprised that it might work... but naa... they are Far Cry from anything real ever happening to you... and thats because of all the anonymity... though the anonymity gives everyone the freedom to do things as wacky as possible, it also screws with actual concept... a lack of actually knowing who you are talking to, because you can't actually see their profile or for that matter their friends, makes it very hard to even get "real".

All in all, its a sucky substitute. But was wholesome entertainment, as i had to come up with the most RIDICULOUS flirt lines ever. And i thoroughly made a fool of myself, i'm happy now that it really WAS anonymous. :)

Cheers! Till the Next post then.