Ah the pain, Bliss is here!

I've done it now,
There is nowhere to go back to,
I've done it now,
the world seems a darker place, distant.
I've done it now,
The laughter seems to stop.

Couldn't take it any more,
Couldn't take the fake lives,
Couldn't take the hypocrisy, this shitty life,
Couldn't take it to not feel love.

I've Done it now,
There is nowhere to go back to,
I've Done it now,
I've pulled the trigger.

Ah the Pain! Bliss is here.

The coke is getting in the way of my writing this, in what is going to be my last confession. its scribbly but i guess you'll be able to read it.

I'm Sorry, i guess thats the first thing i want to say, of all the things i could've said, the selfish bastard that i am, i say i''m sorry, maybe the brain's wired that way... or maybe its all that coke. Nasty cut, that bastard ripped me off... oh well let him get his goodbye present.

What was that... haan... i'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything, I'm sorry for everyone to have had me... to have survived me.

I'm sorry mum, I'm sorry dad. I thought i could live upto what you wanted to see me as, i didn't give it my all, i didn't really care enough about what you wanted me to do, or how you felt about what i wanted to become, and was becoming. I'm sorry because i didn't try.

I'm sorry i lost you love. I'm sorry for being a fucked up me. I'm sorry i asked you to choose me.
I'm sorry i won you heart and broke it. I'm sorry i let break mine too. God, (Satan?) wtevr... this stuff is really heady... making things clear... isn't it supposed to Numb the pain?

FUCK.


This started out as a suicide note:

Then i thought it was an amazing piece of writing, so then i wrote some more, and edited some and rewrote some more... and then thought... This could be a Serial!
(Somewhere then i decide to postpone my suicide, this seemed more exciting... this is part one... introduction and really really morose... it gets better trust me.)